4 Months Old!

Dear Jorie,

I can't believe you're four months old already. It seems both like you were just born and like you've always been a part of our lives. You're growing so fast we're having a hard time keeping up with clothes that fit you.

At four months you are rolling over consistently, although you only roll from your front onto your back. When we put you on your tummy, you arch your back waaaaay up so you can look around. You love to grab things and try to put them in your mouth. You grab things almost as much using your feet as with your hands. You can sit up in your little seat for short periods of time, in fact you prefer to be sitting propped up or being held standing up most of the time.

You give big smiles to everyone you see, and love nothing more than getting some face time. One of your favorite places is the changing table, because when you're lying on the changing table, you have our undivided attention, and get tummy raspberries!

You had a bit of a rough time sleeping for a while there, but for the past couple of nights you've let us get full nights of sleep. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it stays this way!

You've also been eating up a storm, so much that I can't keep up with you. I'm trying my best kiddo, but we've had to supplement more than once. You're just so hungry! Your father thinks you're going through a growth spurt.

You're getting so big already, you don't really look like a baby anymore, but more like a very tiny toddler. You've outgrown so many of the clothes we bought you, and even some that were given to us as gifts. It's weird, I know, but I get a little sad each time I try an outfit on you and it no longer fits. I feel like you're growing up so fast and I can't make the time last nearly long enough. Especially with me working full time. I feel sometimes like I'm missing most of your life.

I love you so much baby girl. My big, fourth month old baby girl.

17 weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

As usual, you've continued to grow and change this week. You can sit up while supported very well now, and you are purposefully grabbing toys you want to play with. You found your feet last week, and have spent the time since then playing with them and pulling off your socks. It's getting hard to change you most of the time because as soon as you're on your back, you pull your feet up to your face. Enjoy that flexibility while you can!

Unfortunately you've also decided lately that this time it is sleeping that is for wimps. Recently you've started waking up around 2, 4 and 6 am. We thought it was because you were falling asleep early (usually around 7 pm) so we started keeping you up until 9:30, but last night you still woke up at 2, 4 6 and then were up for good around 8am. And this on the day that I get to sleep in a bit! Give your momma a break please!

You've gotten used to only sleeping while either one of us is holding you, or there is a hand resting on you. It's a habit we need to try to break, baby girl. Your father and I think that part of the problem is that you are teething, but my mother had a good suggestion. We need to establish a bedtime routine for you. Because of the way that our schedule works, you don't go to bed at the same time (or in the same place) every night. My mother suggested creating a bedtime routine that we could do wherever we are to get you to sleep at the same time every night. Something like, feed you, rock you while we read to you, then put you to sleep in the pack'n'play if we're out, or in the bassinet or your crib if we're home.

Last week was a whirlwind week, like most of them are these days. Your father finally got a chance to put your crib together, although neither me nor your father really want to start using it. We've gotten used to you being right beside the bed at night. I think we'll wait a little longer to transition you to your own room, but it's coming soon!

You've been eating up a storm this week as well. You've used up all the stored milk, and you're eating it faster than I can pump it. Your great Aunt had to use formula once to supplement. I'm really unhappy about this, but what can I do? I can only pump so often at work, and I only get so much when I pump. I'm going to try to up my pumping sessions at work for a bit to recover some of the lost ground, hopefully if I pump this weekend too we'll be ready for the next week.

I love you Jorie bear.

16 Weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

Well, this past week has been a doosy. Between me and your father trying to adjust to not having any time to do anything, and you suddenly deciding pooping was for wimps, I'll be happy to leave it behind (even if it does mean you're another week older!)

Around Thursday last week, your father asked me when the last time you pooped was. We realized the last time any of us remembered you pooping was the previous Saturday. Now the books say that babies can go a week without pooping sometimes, so we tried not to panic, but by Monday I was worried, so I called your pediatrician. She gave us a list of things to try, including giving you an oz of apple juice cut with an oz of water. We could up it slowly to 4 oz of each over the week, and if you still hadn't pooped by the weekend you would have had to go see the doctor. You really enjoyed the apple juice, it was your first official food that was not breast milk! And luckily this morning you pooped! I've never been happier to see poop!

This week you also found your feet. You are very amused with them. Your favorite trick is to put them in your mouth. It amazes me that you can even do that! Every week you get more interactive, and assert your personality a little bit more. It's amazing watching you become a little person. My favorite thing in the world is still your laugh. When you get that big smile and just let out one happy squeak of a laugh, I can't help but smile.

You are still acting like your nursing, and we can still feel what we think are teeth in your upper gums, but nothings breaking through yet. You've gotten less fussy, so we think that the teeth just stalled and aren't moving.

Me and your father still haven't gotten the hang of the new schedule. I still feel like the week is a sprint and then we cram everything we can into the weekends. I hope we'll get used to it soon. But in the meantime, we're still trying to find the time to put your crib together!

This Sunday was your Grandpa Ross' 60th birthday, and your Grandma Ross threw a party for him. You were once again the hit of the party, everyone was so happy to see you, and see how big you've gotten. You did get really fussy at one point, but it turned out you were just hungry! After I found a quiet place to feed you, you went right back to being your usual happy self.

On Saturday we were at your Grandma and Grandpa O's and we (the adults) watched the Avengers, while you slept in my lap. Until the Hulk showed up. Every time the Hulk would roar, you would flinch and whimper. It was so cute, mainly because loud noises don't usually bother you.

I love you baby girl. Stop growing up so fast!

15 weeks old

Dear Jorie,

Well, we're halfway through the second full week of me being back at work. We had to change the schedule up a bit (you're at your great aunts three days a week instead of two), but we're surviving. Hopefully in another few weeks this schedule won't feel as punishing as it does now.

This past weekend you met one of my good friends, John, and his mother and girlfriend. As usual you charmed them all. Lately, though, you have a timer. You can only stand sitting still for so long before either me or your father has to walk you around. I know you just can't wait to be able to move yourself around!

Your room in the house is still a mess, but I did use the glider in there this morning when you woke up around 4am, and wouldn't go back to sleep even after a feeding and being changed. I sat down in the glider, turned the twilight turtle on so the room was covered in stars and held you and rocked you for about a half hour before you were sleepy enough to let me go back to bed.

Your great aunt bought a bunch of toys for you this week, so you have plenty of stuff to play with when you're over there. I think she has more toys for you than we do! She even has a stroller so she can take you for walks if the weather is nice.

You're getting so big now, you've definitely lost that 'newborn' look. You look so different now that you did when you were born. You've filled out nicely, although no one can call you chunky! You still have that long and lean look. Your personality is definitely starting to show itself. You're usually a happy baby, but when you're tired or bored, look out! You really know how to let us know when you're not happy!

Every day when I pick you up at your great aunts I just wrap my arms around you and hold you, because I've missed you so much. I miss being near you all the time. I know you're happy, and me working is the best thing for you and for our family, but oh man do I miss you so much.

I love you baby girl.

14 weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

We survived the first week of me being back at work. True it was a short week, but it was a test none the less. It feels like an all out sprint most days, even on the weekend, now. I miss having time to just sit and enjoy being with you.

Your Great Aunt Ruth helped me a lot by posting pictures of you while you were with her. You really seem to enjoy being around all the different people. Everyone says you're such a joy when they watch you. Except your father, he's having a rough time adjusting.

Your father would appreciate it if you would sleep a little more, or at least play quietly. He's having a hard time adjusting to your needs, while getting work done. Hopefully the two of you will work it out soon.

You've also started teething (we think). At three months, teething already! You've been crankier than normal, and chewing on everything. You've also been eating a lot more, so you may be using all that energy to grow teeth, or just to grow in general.

I was sick this weekend with a cold, so we didn't get everything done that we wanted to, but we got some of your room set up. At least, I put things in the dresser, although me and your father disagree on how to organize your clothes. The next big step will be setting your crib up and arranging everything to fit in your room.

This week is our first full week with me back at work. I'm really missing you this week. I'm hoping that it'll get easier as we get used to the routine, but you're growing up so quickly and I'm missing it all.

You rolled over for the first time on Sunday. I'm so glad I was there for it and didn't miss it! We were hanging out in the living room on the floor, and you had rolled over onto your side and were just hanging out, then all of a sudden you just flipped over onto your stomach. Me and your father got really excited and you started smiling and laughing and doing the superman. You seemed really happy until you realized you couldn't see anything or roll back over. Then you got really upset and we had to pick you up off the floor so you could look around.

Oh baby girl, don't grow up so fast!
I love you.

13 Weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

This week you are 13 weeks old. Today is the very last day of my maternity leave. Tomorrow you will go to your Great Aunt's house for the first time, and I will be away from you for a full day. The longest I have been away from you so far has been three or four hours. I am going to miss you so much baby girl.

Right now you are snuggled up in your stroller sleeping quietly, letting mommy get some writing done. You are wearing a big warm hoodie. The hood keeps falling down over your eyes, and it's really really cute. You have your taggie with you, which you absolutely love. I got it on a whim at Tar.get the other day, because it was on sale. Best five bucks I've ever spent. You absolutely adore it, and play with the tags on it constantly. You're favorite trick now is to pull it up over your head so you can sleep when you think it's too bright out.

Yesterday you had a very fussy day. You wanted to eat very frequently, and it seemed like you were either eating, sleeping or crying all day. Then you went to sleep around 10 and slept through the night. You didn't wake up (except for a little fussing in the middle of the night when you lost your binky) until I woke you up to get dressed around 8:45am.

Tomorrow is going to be an adjustment I think. I will have to get up early (around 6 or 6:30) to get up and dressed and have everything ready for you by the time I need to head out at 7:30.  No more leisurely days sleeping in until 8 or 8:30. No more quiet morning feeding while we snuggle on the couch. The new schedule is going to take a while to iron out, I think. Your father is still ironing out the details of staying home with you, but he's really excited about getting to be around you so much.

The weather has been getting colder lately, so you've been wearing a lot of the hoodie that Jan got you. I need to go through your clothes and figure out if you've got any more warm jackets that fit. We bought you a really cute warm hoodie yesterday, it's got bear ears on the hood! It's still a little big for you I think, but by the time the serious cool weather gets here it should fit.

Your room is still a shambles, we haven't really had time to put everything together. We've been focusing on getting the living room and kitchen organized and useable. Your father and I's bedroom is only partly organized, we have our dressers put together, but all of our clothing is still in boxes and laundry baskets. It's starting to drive your father a little crazy. Every now and then he goes on a cleaning rampage and spends a few hours manically organizing things. This is extremely helpful as I, your mother, am organizationally challenged. I'm hoping you get his organization skills.

I hope I'm doing the right thing for you by going back to work. I know there are ways we could make it work with me staying home, but it would be so much harder. I know there are many arguments for why this is a good thing for you and for us. I still worry that I'm going to screw you up by going back to work, that somehow I'm a worse mother for it. I guess the only thing we can do is move forward and see how we all feel in a few months.

One of the things your father is going to do is to try to either get health insurance from his job or to get a raise to cover the amount of money health insurance would cost. Either way, that would take some of the pressure out of our situation, since it would give me some more wiggle room with my job. In my ideal world, I would get to stay home with you part time, and only work part time. If your father can get insurance through his job, then maybe I can drop down to part time at my job, and give up my health insurance, in favor of staying home with you more.

Of course, this schedule might work really well. I might feel differently in a few weeks or months, and not want to change our routine again. Only time will tell.

I love you Baby Girl.

12 weeks old

Dear Jorie,

This is a very special week. This week you are 12 weeks old, although your Three month birthday will be next Tuesday on the 11th. This is also my last week before I go back to work.

We have made all the arrangements for your care during the day, Your Dad is going to stay home two days a week, you will be going to your Great Aunt Ruth's two days a week, and one day a week you'll be at your Grandma and Grandpa O's for five hours (since I go in late that day.) Your Great Aunt Ruth refused to take the $160 a week we offered to pay her, and would only take $100 a week, which is great news for Your Father and I. We were budgeting for the $160, so we'll have an extra $240 a month in the budget.

We still have to get a few things that will go with you wherever you are: a base for the car seat for your Great Aunt Ruth's car, a bottle warmer for your Grandma and Grandpa O...but for the most part you are all ready to start being a social butterfly.

I'm the one that's not quite ready. The closer we get to the day I have to go back to work, the less I want to leave you. I've gotten used to the rhythm of our days together. The time and space to just sit with you and hold you. Having you with me always. I'm incredibly sad about the fact that this time together is ending so soon.

I know that this will be good for you, in every way. You will get time to bond with your father, with your grandparents, and with your Great Aunt and your fathers Cousins (who absolutely adore you.) Me being back at work puts more money in our bank account, which lets us live comfortably, and have our amazing big house. My job gives us health care, so you can see the doctor when you need to. It gets me out of the house so I don't turn into a hermit.

The other reason I'm sad about this time ending is even more selfish. I really like having the free time I've had, and am not looking forward to trying to get everything done around my work schedule. I've been writing again, I spend a few hours each morning working on some writing, and I know that it's going to suffer when I go back to work. I'm also sad because of all the things I didn't find the time to do, like working on more artwork. There is artwork I want to do for your room that I've still not gotten around to starting.

These letters to you will become even more important, I think, once I go back to work. This will be where I can share with you all the things that go into my day and week. The place where I can make sure you know how much I love you and miss you when I'm not around you.

You keep getting stronger and more amazing every day. I know I say that a lot, but it's true every time I say it. You're not just on track developmentally, you're ahead of the game. Our little Genius Baby. You grab things and put them in your mouth, you smile and laugh and babble. You haven't rolled over yet, but you can sit up as long as we prop you, and you can support yourself on your legs. You stick your tongue out and then laugh. You grab your blankets and pull them over your face, and sometimes use them to kind of push your binky back into your mouth. You suck your thumb, although I think Your Father and I have managed to keep that from becoming a habit.

I love you Baby Girl.