15 weeks old

Dear Jorie,

Well, we're halfway through the second full week of me being back at work. We had to change the schedule up a bit (you're at your great aunts three days a week instead of two), but we're surviving. Hopefully in another few weeks this schedule won't feel as punishing as it does now.

This past weekend you met one of my good friends, John, and his mother and girlfriend. As usual you charmed them all. Lately, though, you have a timer. You can only stand sitting still for so long before either me or your father has to walk you around. I know you just can't wait to be able to move yourself around!

Your room in the house is still a mess, but I did use the glider in there this morning when you woke up around 4am, and wouldn't go back to sleep even after a feeding and being changed. I sat down in the glider, turned the twilight turtle on so the room was covered in stars and held you and rocked you for about a half hour before you were sleepy enough to let me go back to bed.

Your great aunt bought a bunch of toys for you this week, so you have plenty of stuff to play with when you're over there. I think she has more toys for you than we do! She even has a stroller so she can take you for walks if the weather is nice.

You're getting so big now, you've definitely lost that 'newborn' look. You look so different now that you did when you were born. You've filled out nicely, although no one can call you chunky! You still have that long and lean look. Your personality is definitely starting to show itself. You're usually a happy baby, but when you're tired or bored, look out! You really know how to let us know when you're not happy!

Every day when I pick you up at your great aunts I just wrap my arms around you and hold you, because I've missed you so much. I miss being near you all the time. I know you're happy, and me working is the best thing for you and for our family, but oh man do I miss you so much.

I love you baby girl.

14 weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

We survived the first week of me being back at work. True it was a short week, but it was a test none the less. It feels like an all out sprint most days, even on the weekend, now. I miss having time to just sit and enjoy being with you.

Your Great Aunt Ruth helped me a lot by posting pictures of you while you were with her. You really seem to enjoy being around all the different people. Everyone says you're such a joy when they watch you. Except your father, he's having a rough time adjusting.

Your father would appreciate it if you would sleep a little more, or at least play quietly. He's having a hard time adjusting to your needs, while getting work done. Hopefully the two of you will work it out soon.

You've also started teething (we think). At three months, teething already! You've been crankier than normal, and chewing on everything. You've also been eating a lot more, so you may be using all that energy to grow teeth, or just to grow in general.

I was sick this weekend with a cold, so we didn't get everything done that we wanted to, but we got some of your room set up. At least, I put things in the dresser, although me and your father disagree on how to organize your clothes. The next big step will be setting your crib up and arranging everything to fit in your room.

This week is our first full week with me back at work. I'm really missing you this week. I'm hoping that it'll get easier as we get used to the routine, but you're growing up so quickly and I'm missing it all.

You rolled over for the first time on Sunday. I'm so glad I was there for it and didn't miss it! We were hanging out in the living room on the floor, and you had rolled over onto your side and were just hanging out, then all of a sudden you just flipped over onto your stomach. Me and your father got really excited and you started smiling and laughing and doing the superman. You seemed really happy until you realized you couldn't see anything or roll back over. Then you got really upset and we had to pick you up off the floor so you could look around.

Oh baby girl, don't grow up so fast!
I love you.

13 Weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

This week you are 13 weeks old. Today is the very last day of my maternity leave. Tomorrow you will go to your Great Aunt's house for the first time, and I will be away from you for a full day. The longest I have been away from you so far has been three or four hours. I am going to miss you so much baby girl.

Right now you are snuggled up in your stroller sleeping quietly, letting mommy get some writing done. You are wearing a big warm hoodie. The hood keeps falling down over your eyes, and it's really really cute. You have your taggie with you, which you absolutely love. I got it on a whim at Tar.get the other day, because it was on sale. Best five bucks I've ever spent. You absolutely adore it, and play with the tags on it constantly. You're favorite trick now is to pull it up over your head so you can sleep when you think it's too bright out.

Yesterday you had a very fussy day. You wanted to eat very frequently, and it seemed like you were either eating, sleeping or crying all day. Then you went to sleep around 10 and slept through the night. You didn't wake up (except for a little fussing in the middle of the night when you lost your binky) until I woke you up to get dressed around 8:45am.

Tomorrow is going to be an adjustment I think. I will have to get up early (around 6 or 6:30) to get up and dressed and have everything ready for you by the time I need to head out at 7:30.  No more leisurely days sleeping in until 8 or 8:30. No more quiet morning feeding while we snuggle on the couch. The new schedule is going to take a while to iron out, I think. Your father is still ironing out the details of staying home with you, but he's really excited about getting to be around you so much.

The weather has been getting colder lately, so you've been wearing a lot of the hoodie that Jan got you. I need to go through your clothes and figure out if you've got any more warm jackets that fit. We bought you a really cute warm hoodie yesterday, it's got bear ears on the hood! It's still a little big for you I think, but by the time the serious cool weather gets here it should fit.

Your room is still a shambles, we haven't really had time to put everything together. We've been focusing on getting the living room and kitchen organized and useable. Your father and I's bedroom is only partly organized, we have our dressers put together, but all of our clothing is still in boxes and laundry baskets. It's starting to drive your father a little crazy. Every now and then he goes on a cleaning rampage and spends a few hours manically organizing things. This is extremely helpful as I, your mother, am organizationally challenged. I'm hoping you get his organization skills.

I hope I'm doing the right thing for you by going back to work. I know there are ways we could make it work with me staying home, but it would be so much harder. I know there are many arguments for why this is a good thing for you and for us. I still worry that I'm going to screw you up by going back to work, that somehow I'm a worse mother for it. I guess the only thing we can do is move forward and see how we all feel in a few months.

One of the things your father is going to do is to try to either get health insurance from his job or to get a raise to cover the amount of money health insurance would cost. Either way, that would take some of the pressure out of our situation, since it would give me some more wiggle room with my job. In my ideal world, I would get to stay home with you part time, and only work part time. If your father can get insurance through his job, then maybe I can drop down to part time at my job, and give up my health insurance, in favor of staying home with you more.

Of course, this schedule might work really well. I might feel differently in a few weeks or months, and not want to change our routine again. Only time will tell.

I love you Baby Girl.

12 weeks old

Dear Jorie,

This is a very special week. This week you are 12 weeks old, although your Three month birthday will be next Tuesday on the 11th. This is also my last week before I go back to work.

We have made all the arrangements for your care during the day, Your Dad is going to stay home two days a week, you will be going to your Great Aunt Ruth's two days a week, and one day a week you'll be at your Grandma and Grandpa O's for five hours (since I go in late that day.) Your Great Aunt Ruth refused to take the $160 a week we offered to pay her, and would only take $100 a week, which is great news for Your Father and I. We were budgeting for the $160, so we'll have an extra $240 a month in the budget.

We still have to get a few things that will go with you wherever you are: a base for the car seat for your Great Aunt Ruth's car, a bottle warmer for your Grandma and Grandpa O...but for the most part you are all ready to start being a social butterfly.

I'm the one that's not quite ready. The closer we get to the day I have to go back to work, the less I want to leave you. I've gotten used to the rhythm of our days together. The time and space to just sit with you and hold you. Having you with me always. I'm incredibly sad about the fact that this time together is ending so soon.

I know that this will be good for you, in every way. You will get time to bond with your father, with your grandparents, and with your Great Aunt and your fathers Cousins (who absolutely adore you.) Me being back at work puts more money in our bank account, which lets us live comfortably, and have our amazing big house. My job gives us health care, so you can see the doctor when you need to. It gets me out of the house so I don't turn into a hermit.

The other reason I'm sad about this time ending is even more selfish. I really like having the free time I've had, and am not looking forward to trying to get everything done around my work schedule. I've been writing again, I spend a few hours each morning working on some writing, and I know that it's going to suffer when I go back to work. I'm also sad because of all the things I didn't find the time to do, like working on more artwork. There is artwork I want to do for your room that I've still not gotten around to starting.

These letters to you will become even more important, I think, once I go back to work. This will be where I can share with you all the things that go into my day and week. The place where I can make sure you know how much I love you and miss you when I'm not around you.

You keep getting stronger and more amazing every day. I know I say that a lot, but it's true every time I say it. You're not just on track developmentally, you're ahead of the game. Our little Genius Baby. You grab things and put them in your mouth, you smile and laugh and babble. You haven't rolled over yet, but you can sit up as long as we prop you, and you can support yourself on your legs. You stick your tongue out and then laugh. You grab your blankets and pull them over your face, and sometimes use them to kind of push your binky back into your mouth. You suck your thumb, although I think Your Father and I have managed to keep that from becoming a habit.

I love you Baby Girl.

11 Weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

This week you are 11 weeks old. You had your two month check up (a little late) yesterday. You are 24 Inches Long and exactly 10 lbs. Still long and lean! You're in the 20th percentile for weight, and following right along on your own growth curve. You charmed everyone at the office, smiling and giggling at the nurses. The doctor said you are really strong for your age, which means that as soon as you start sitting up we will have to move you into the crib from the bassinet.

You had to get your shots at this visit, three of them, and you took them like a champ. You cried a bit for the second and third shots, but as soon as I swaddled you and started rocking you, you quieted right down. You were a little fussy later on, I think your legs hurt from the shots, but you're back to your normal smiley self this morning.

This week, Your Father and I have been busy moving us into our new house. This past Sunday was the big push, moving all the heavy stuff. Your Uncles Mike and Farley showed up to help out, as did your Grandpa O. Our house is now filled with boxes stacked in every room!

We've been staying at the house since Sunday, although it's still not really set up. You will have your own room as soon as we get everything set up in there! I think this weekend we'll spend some time getting your room together, setting up the crib and putting up the shelves. I want to make a roman shade for your room too, I have all the stuff to make it already.

Last night while you were in the MamaRoo, Your Father and I saw you reach up and swat at the hanging toys. It was such a deliberate movement, much more so than you've made before. When you realized that swatting them made them spin, you laughed and did it again.

We're coming up fast on the date when I will have to go back to work. While I'm really looking forward to being back at work, I'm getting more and more apprehensive about not being with you all day. I'm so used to being able to spend all my time around you, I'm going to miss you so much when I go back to work.  But in the end, I know it's worth it, because it lets you grow up in a house with a yard and a puppy.

I love you Baby Girl.

10 weeks old!

Dear Jorie,

I'm not doing too well with these letters, am I? I know it's no excuse, but I've been having trouble finding time to sit and write these to you. Every day is filled with so many small adventures, from going for walks to spending time with your grandparents.

This week you met your cousin for the first time. Her name is Sienna and she's 13 years old right now. She was completely infatuated with you as soon as she met you. On Friday, she spent close to three hours just holding you. She kept saying how cute you were.

Tomorrow we close on our house. The house you will grow up in! Me and your Father are really excited. We've been working really hard to get to this point, and we're both ready to have some more space. I'm excited to be able to set up a real nursery for you, and to have the amazing rocking chair that's currently at your Grandma and Grandpa O's house. There are so many things we have for you that we haven't been able to use because we didn't have space to set them up. It's so amazing to think that we're buying the house that you will remember having grown up in.

You're getting to be quite a little "talker" now. You laugh and coo and squeak. Your Grandpa O thinks you sound like a baby dinosaur. You play games with us too, your Father will stick out his tongue and hum, and you will stick your tongue back out at him and then laugh.

Your other big new trick is sucking your thumb, although me and your father are less thrilled about that one (even if it is really cute!) I'll let you in on a secret, your father sucked his thumb till he was six! Now that you've finally figured out how to stick your thumb out so you can suck it, we've had a rough time convincing you that the paci is better. You've even rubbed a little raw spot under your bottom lip from so much thumb sucking!

We've had a rough few days, sleep wise, although I think you're finally starting to get back to your "normal" schedule. You fell asleep early last night, around 9pm, and stubbornly stayed asleep through multiple attempts to wake you up. This meant that unfortunately for your Father and I, you woke up early this morning, right before 7 I think. Not that I'm complaining! It's amazing that you are already sleeping through the night, which lets your father and I get right around 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night.

I love you so much Baby Girl. I'm trying to enjoy these last few weeks before I have to hand you off to someone during the day and go back to work. I'm really nervous about how that's going to go. I know I'm going to miss you like crazy while I'm at work. As much as I'm looking forward to being at work and doing work I enjoy, I've gotten used to being around you all the time. I can't imagine spending eight hours a day away from you! I'm taking comfort in the fact that two days a week, your Father will be staying home with you, and right now the plan is for you to stay with your Great Aunt Ruth for two days a week, so you'll be with family, and you'll get a chance to bond with your Father.

Time seems to move so fast now, You're getting so big already. Slow down Baby Girl, You don't have to grow up so fast!

I love you.

8 Weeks old

Dear Jorie,

This week you are eight weeks old. I missed updating last week because we were on Lopez Island, where I had no internet. You went on your first airplane, and did great. You got to meet all of your relatives on the Ross side of the family. You were very social, "talking" and laughing at everyone. Your Great-Grandma Ross spent a lot of time holding you. As usual, everyone loved you.

You keep getting more amazing every day. You are now very interactive, you play simple games, and love to copy people. Your smile is so amazing, it lights up your whole face. I can't describe how amazing it is to see you smile and laugh. Or to watch you interact with people. Knowing that you're actually reacting to what people are saying, or the faces they're making, it's just amazing.

You actually kind of play with your toys now, batting at them and trying to grab them. You're still getting the hang of opening and closing your hands, so you get frustrated sometimes. I'm convinced you have entire one sided conversations with some of your toys, even seeming to get angry at them for something every now and then, like they said something you didn't like.

One of your new habits is to suck on your hand. It looks like your trying to suck your thumb, but you haven't figured out how to stick your thumb out, so you end up just happily noming on your palm. It's really cute, but it results in a lot of drool! So much that I was convinced for a few days that either you were teething really early, or you had thrush.

We got your social security card this week. It's official, you're an American citizen! I just kind of stared at it after I opened it, reading your name over and over. Thinking about everything you will use that name, and that number, for in the future. We still haven't gotten your birth certificate, but I'm sure that's on it's way.

I know I'm not doing a very good job documenting all your adventures, but honestly to me the most important things are some of the smallest. Watching you smile and laugh with your Great-Grandma Ross, Seeing you stick your tongue out at your Grandpa O and then laugh, watching you laugh in your sleep, realizing you've slept through the night for three nights in a row, packing away your newborn sized clothing because you've outgrown it.

Every day you're growing and changing. It's hard to believe how much until I see pictures of you from when you were born and then look at you. You were so tiny and delicate. You're still tiny, and you're no where near chubby, but you look so much more...robust now. You look stronger. I can see the little girl you will be your face now. I simultaneously wan to freeze time and keep you this small forever and fast forward until you're old enough to talk and walk and share experiences with me. I'm so excited about showing the world to you, and watching you grow up, and yet at the same time I feel like this precious time where you're so small and brand new is slipping by so quickly. From what I understand, this feeling is normal, and won't ever go away.

I love you baby girl.